They were named, in order, Matthew, Mark, Luke and Peter, because their mother refused to burden a child with the homonym for toilet, upon which her loud, rowdy and profane brother had just congratulated her. Her husband, a faithful Presbyterian who disliked his brother-in-law anyway, remonstrated that this upset the gospellian design decided on before the birth of their first son, but she remained obstinate. They compromised on Peter, upon being informed of which her brother then spake aloud and at length on euphemisms for male genitalia, until Peter’s father had more than words with his brother-in-law in the alley out back of the Ahtna General Hospital. A faithful Presbyterian, he wasn’t a pacifist. The brothers were equal in height (five ten), similar in color of eye and hair (dark brown), and steadfastly united in fraternal loyalty, in part because their parents had died young, drowning when their fishing boat went down off Hinchinbrook Island. Matt had just turned eighteen and so was able to take responsibility for his three brothers, thereby keeping the family together.
