Vicious, resentful thoughts about Jeffrey and Melissa exploded in my mind like hand grenades. I was torn between analyzing these thoughts and defusing them as quickly as possible. Yet another Pandora's box had been opened. So many boxes, so many issues, all unresolved. My mind was spinning. Once Tim arrived home I retreated to the attic, fell asleep, and didn't re-emerge until morning. Yet another evening when the kids didn't see Mommy. Is this what they deserve? Was this abuse? I was determined to resolve the conflict between Dr. Padgett's views and my religious upbringing. I needed to believe in something. So I walked into the Wednesday session with a clear and predetermined agenda. If Dr. Padgett were going to espouse such views, he would have to support them convincingly. I could not simply take this one on his word. The moral stakes were too high. Today Padgett's brain was going to be picked apart; his motives were going to be assessed. I had barely settled in my chair before I started the interrogation.
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