‘And no playing silly buggers this time. Who’s going first?’ ‘I’m afraid the English are supposed to,’ said Charles Taylor apologetically. ‘Not that I mind. I’d be happy to make my presentation at any stage of the proceedings, but at Robert’s instigation we had a sort of lot-drawing thingie earlier and I…’ ‘What the hell are you apologizing for now? Just get on with it, for Pete’s sake. Give us your hooray for English culture.’ Taylor flushed, took a video tape from his briefcase and handed it to Amiss, who had appointed himself technical assistant for the morning. ‘I’ll let the video speak for itself, but I’m obviously happy to answer questions later.’ Amiss lowered the blinds and started the tape. Within a few minutes it became clear its contents had been determined by a committee bent on offending no one except perhaps white native English. The coverage of the joys of multi-culturalism included West Indians leaping about at the Notting Hill Carnival, Neasden Hindus celebrating Diwali, Birmingham Muslims at prayer, the opening of a Buddhist temple on the Thames, and shots of various Irish, Welsh and Scots in London hostelries respectively celebrating St Patrick’s Day, St David’s Day and Burns’ Night.
