instead of “Mommy Carine.” Not because it wasn’t momentous in my mind. It was just something that happened progressively, and naturally. For a long time, following my mantra of what was best for Heather, I’d tried to include Amber in everything we did with her. So, I invited Amber over for tea and dinners and to work on school projects together, and occasionally she would accept. Together we planned Heather’s birthday parties and attended school assemblies and dance recitals. Robert understood that it was important for Heather to feel surrounded by love and support and not dysfunction, but the arrangement made him uncomfortable. As a result, oftentimes it was just Amber and me together with Heather at community events, looking like we were a couple, which made me uncomfortable instead. I worried that Robert and I were allowing Amber’s parenting efforts to be sporadic at best. It was almost as if Heather had come with a troubled big sister. I didn’t want to enable Amber; I wanted to encourage her to clean herself up and move in a positive direction.
