The Housewife Assassin's Ghost Protocol - Plot & Excerpts
Instead of the usual staid funeral parlor service or morose graveside ceremony, why not throw a wake? It is the best way to put the F-U-N in funeral! Here’s how: Step 1: Find a great bar in which to hold it. Ideally, it will be some place that won’t mind an unending round of toasts in the deceased’s memory, off-key singing of the deceased’s favorite ditties, and the bereaved-albeit-drunk jumping up on the bar to eulogize him. Step 2: If it becomes a cry fest, do your best to cheer up the crowd. However, if you’re not naturally funny, take the time to practice your comedy routine. Why? Because nothing sucks the energy out of a room quicker than a joke that’s deader than the corpse. Step 3: Leave the best speakers for last. By this, I mean the ones who won’t slur their words because of too much tippling. It also helps if they can still stumble to their feet. Gives apt meaning to the phrase, “Last man standing,” doesn’t it? Worst. Hangover. Ever. I open one eye to find myself staring at Ryan.
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